Being in control of your life doesn’t mean that things will always work out how you expect or hope them to. The best thing though is that you can figure out what you want and work towards getting it, allowing changes to come along the way.
How do you stay confident in yourself when nothing seems to be going right? Here are some things that you can do to be in control of your life:
Know What You Believe and Value
Make sure that you are living up to your values and beliefs. Nothing is going to be perfect, but you need to make sure that you are going after your own goals and not what someone else wants from you.
The values that you have will shape who you are and what you want in your life. By knowing what you believe, you will see that:
- You can have clarity.
- You can make better decisions.
- You will have strong connections.
- You will not engage in thought patterns that are negative.
- You will stop comparing yourself to others.
Happiness is something that happens when you accept yourself for who you are. When you have conflict in your life and in your inner being, chances are that you are unsure of your values and what you want. Figure this out and get on the right path.
Your life might feel that you are out of control, but this is because you have to figure out your motivations. There are internal and external motivations, and these are the things that you dream about and the things that you want to do in your life. The internal motivations are your passions and your purpose.
The motivations that are external are things that happen to you from the outside that help you or stop you from reaching your goals. Sometimes your motivations can cause you conflict and when this happens you have to be in control of what you do. Motivations should be balanced, and this isn’t selfish.
Figure out what you want in your life, relationships, and other things and what makes you happy.
Have a Vision
You have to know what you want and have a vision. Make sure that you are clearing your mind from things that aren’t going to help you and set goals. Figure out what success means to you and imagine that you are surrounded by things that help you. What kind of people do you want to be around? What kind of career do you desire? What makes you feel like your best self?
Once you know what you want, make a vision board, and put things on it that reflect your goals. Put this in a place that you can look at it daily.
Don’t let things limit you. Don’t let beliefs that you have had in the past stop you from reaching your goals. If you don’t think you are good enough, change your mindset on this. Stop being negative and stop limiting your beliefs and thoughts. Praise yourself, give yourself room to make mistakes and don’t let things hold you back.
Be positive in how you talk to yourself and make sure that you aren’t listening to voices in your head that were negative in your past.
Be responsible for the things that you have and haven’t done. If you have made a mistake, face it and be responsible for it. Look at the actions that you have taken in your life and see what you need to change.
Look at your life and ask things like:
- Am I being present to people I love?
- Do I rest enough?
- Do I eat right?
- Am I sticking to my financial budget?
- How am I using my time?
Even if you fail, be kind to yourself.
Let Go of Things Out of Your Control
You can’t control everything, and this is okay. Let go of things that are out of your control and control things you can. Even when you make a plan, they don’t always work, and this is okay. Don’t worry and don’t overthink things.
Once you are able to accept change, you will see that things can be calmer in y our life.
Don’t React but Respond
Since you can’t control everything, you have to be careful how you react. Don’t let your emotions control you. Be careful about what you do when things don’t work out:
- Reacting is an emotion.
- Responding is emotional intelligence.
- Reacting is when you say something because of what you believe such as biases and prejudices.
- Responding is when you look at how you want to react emotionally before you actually do.
When you feel that you are out of control, it can cause you to have stress in your life. When you have strong emotions, this can cause you to not be able to achieve your goals. Let your emotions come out, if you need to cry, cry and if you need to scream, scream. Then go on about your day.
Figure Out Triggers
Know where your emotions come from and then figure out what is triggering you. If you have emotional trauma, here are some things that you might notice:
- Notice when you need to react to your emotions.
- Figure out what you are feeling.
- Do you need healing?
If you have trouble with past trauma, don’t fear getting the help that you need. Be self-aware of your emotions and if you have emotions that are painful, figure out why.
Take Small Steps
People often think about their goals, but they don’t always take action. Sometimes you have to move forward by taking small action. What goals do you have? What small steps can you take to reach these? Even taking small steps will get you where you want to go eventually.
Plan Each Day
If you have a schedule that is hard to keep up with, be in control of your days. Make a daily planning schedule so that you can make sure that you get everything done that needs to be done.
Set a routine and put the most important tasks first. Here are some other ideas:
- Make a weekly plan.
- Sit down and put what is important first.
- Do a morning and night ritual that you follow.
- Don’t be distracted.
- Find a quiet place to work.
- Schedule time for rest and play.
- Work places other than the office.
You don’t have to do everything in a few minutes, and you can learn to take a break. You have to have a balance between work and rest. To do better, everyone has to take a break and then keep pushing forward.
As you take steps in your life, you will see that your mind even needs a break. Be in control of your life but know that being in control takes time. When you don’t feel like you can keep moving, know that you have to take one step at a time.
Once you are ready to be in control of your life, do it. You are the one that can make this happen.