The first date is all about making a good impression so we are highly focused on that moment alone. This is normal, but if it is a first date and you want a second, there are a few things you can do to help that along.
Nerves are normal for first dates because you do not know the person and do not know what will happen. Still, you are not doing a job interview so relax and be a bit playful. Do not spend all your time asking a million questions, but keep things light and flowing to see what happens. One ate is not enough to get to know someone well, so no need for a deep dive into their lives.
Choose a Meaningful Topic
First dates can lag and hit lulls if you haven’t thought ahead about what you may want to talk about. You can only ask what they o or where they are from once so find ways to draw out their personality. Make yourself slightly vulnerable by sharing something lightly personal. Discuss something close to your heart and see where things go.
Even if you are feeling nervous, act confidently. This is one of those things you can fake until you make it. Men and women are more attracted to confident people who know their own worth. If needed, give yourself a pre-date pep talk to make sure you feel and look your best. You are awesome.
Watch Body Language
Pay attention to what your body and face are signaling. When we get nervous, we may start speaking too fast, crossing our arms, or looking away which may signal we are not interested. Instead, focus on smiling a lot, leaning forward to listen while facing them, and keeping legs and arms uncrossed.
Avoid Being Too Drunk
A drink or even two may help calm you down and help conversation, but make sure you are not drunk. For women, this is a safety issue and for both men and women, you never want to sound like a drunk or get sloppy. Know your limits and drink water between drinks. If they want another round, but you are on the edge, politely refuse.
Don’t try to fake your way into a second date, be your best self and you will attract the right people who enjoy your uniqueness. If they fall for a fake version of you, you can never drop the mask an be who you are in life. Start out honestly.
If you start a ate believing there will be a second, it can help you relax because you know there will be more time to get to know the other person. This will help you stay present in the moment and listen to what they are saying. Anticipate what you want and watch as it unfolds.
Read the Date
This is a first date so you never know how the date will react. If a topic is just not landing or if they look bored, change the conversation. If the other person appears to be having a goo time, tell them you are as well. Playing it too cool may lead them to believe you are not interested or do not care. Pay attention to the signs and your gut.
Talk of the Future
Don’t start a first date planning for kids or a wedding, but do discuss spending more time together if things are going well. Don’t force it, but if you have a common interest, possibly plan to do that together.
Tell Them You are Interested
If you have reached the end of the date and haven’t been open about enjoying it, let your date know. Give them a hug or kiss on the cheek as you tell them you would like to see them again.
Don’t Blow the Follow-Up
Ignore the old three day rule that is long past. If you had a great time, call or text that evening and thank them for joining you. Suggest another time to meet in the following week. If you wait too long, they may move on.
First dates can be nerve racking, but also a great deal of fun. If the good vibes are flowing and you want a second date, keep these tips in mind.