It’s a common misconception that we need other people in our lives to make us happy. Yet, this can create immense tension in relationships. It is important that you discover happiness within yourself. It can be difficult at first, but with mindfulness and a diverse self-care habit, it is possible. We must track which emotions are reactions and which are inherent. Reactions are influenced by interactions with other people, whereas the inherent ones are ours alone.
In relationship, we need to balance our needs with that of our partner and as a couple. We need to understand the concept of responsibility and compromise. As we gain awareness, we master our emotions and avoid blame or fault finding. This allows us to navigate the hard work of sustaining a healthy relationship and resolving any limiting beliefs. We are able to more fully express our love, free of judgments, opinions, and rationalization, all of which may lead to miscommunication.
Another falsity is being unhappy without one’s partner. This causes our mind to become codependent on our lover. The mind forms the false belief that if they were to leave one would experience sorrow, anger, isolation, and rejection. Because we fear such pain, people can remain in toxic relationship or seek to control their partner’s actions. We must avoid falling victim to these false fears and find the confidence within ourselves.
To avoid feeling alone, people often modify behaviors to gain love and attention. This is a means to avoid feeling rejected or judged by anyone else. However, this prevents us from being our authentic self. We put on a pleasant mask so people will be more likely to want to be around us and hide our flaws. Essentially, we seek to play the role of hero in our own story.
When we identify false beliefs, we erase the gremlin chatter in our mind like “if they really knew me, then they wouldn’t want to be around me.” This allows not just others to appreciate our talents, but more important foster self-esteem and self-confidence. These traits are essential to releasing our fears and building a sense of self-love.