Loving someone means that you try your best not to get mad at them even when they are mad at you. You try to not get frustrated with them when they reacted to something that you say that they didn’t like. You also don’t call them stupid or believe that they are over reacting when they choose to not talk to you about something that hurt them even if you don’t feel like you did.
When someone gets upset with you it might seem like a silly things for them to do. You might feel that what you did was small and didn’t warrant that kind of reaction.
You might even feel that your partner got mad at you and yelled at you or jumped on you for something that wasn’t even with reason but instead of getting mad at them or yelling back, you need to ask them why they reacted that way and if they had a reason for their action.
You need to take time to always look at things from the point of view that your partner has. Even when you have been dating someone for a long time, there are things that you might not know about them or about how they work or react. They might not even understand where their own emotions are coming from and so getting mad at them never helps.
A person that has been through trauma in their past might act differently than someone who hasn’t. If you love someone, you have to figure out what their triggers are and what causes them to be sensitive.
There might be times in your relationship where the way that your partner reacts to something makes you upset or makes you feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes things might set your partner off that you don’t expect and the way that they react might surprise you. Even if this happens, it is not fair for you to get angry at them for how they react. You should never tell someone that you are with that what they are feeling isn’t a big deal and that they need to relax and calm down.
Even small things can cause someone that has went through trauma to have memories that come back to their mind. They might be triggered by the thought or look of blood or maybe the way that a certain scent smells. Different things affect different people and here are some of the triggers that some people have a hard time dealing with:
- The sound of beer opening.
- The smell of cigarettes.
- The sound of fireworks going off.
- Gunshot sounds.
- Someone yelling or getting angry.
- The smell of smoke.
Triggers can be things that are big and small and when you are with someone that might have a traumatic past, you have to learn to be loving even through things that you don’t understand.
Love is something that we all have to learn and if you think that you are able to help your partner then you need to learn to understand them more. You have to learn to understand their triggers and why they have strong feelings of anxiety or stress. If your partner is depressed and is battling this, you have to understand that their battle with depression might not be the same as someone else’s.
When something happens and your partner is triggered, the best things that you can do is try to calm them down and love them. You need to be there to be the best that you can for them and to love them through it. When you cause them to be upset and you don’t even mean to, the best thing that you can do is to love them, apologize and help them through it.
Never make your partner feel that they are crazy or that they are weird because they are having feelings. Validate their feelings and make sure that you encourage them to be truthful with you. Do not be defensive if they have a trigger because sometimes these happen when someone is trying to cope with hard things int heir life.
A person with this problem will more than likely hide the root cause of the problem form you and they will try to pretend that they are fine even when they aren’t because they don’t want you to look down on them.
If you love someone, you have to try to figure out the things that upset them and make them uncomfortable and try not to slip and do it to them. You don’t want to ever belittle them for what they are afraid of or hurt them as a joke to make them feel bad. You should always try to raise your partner up, support them and show them the most love that you can even when times are hard.